Introspection

I stood in a circle with all my Soldiers during PT. In between push ups, flutter kicks and lunges, I was able to remove myself from the exertion and survey the surroundings and my Soldiers. We stood amidst an open baseball field. The fields to the left formed a wide stripe of bright green grass. Above this line, there was another stripe. This of a brighter green, formed by the tree line. Moving higher, the next strip was a brilliant, light blue, interspersed with clouds. Along a road near by, Soldiers moved past, spanning the spectrum of walking and sprinting.

But more than the scenery, I looked at my Soldiers. Many I liked and respected. Some I knew well. Some I wished I could know better, but professionalism and my rank as an officer precluded a closer friendship. Some I did not know at all as they had only just arrived at my platoon. And I wondered. I wondered if they would all make it back from Afghanistan alive. It was a specter that appeared to me often. Rarely during the light of day, when I was too busy for such introspection. But often in the evenings, when I was unable to hide among tasks and human interaction, when, after I had spent my evening reading of a theoretical Afghanistan, I thought of Afghanistan as we would meet it. And wondered if we would return unaltered from the meeting.