Iron Mike Merkel

It is tradition that when you promote a Soldier, you rip off the old rank (it’s velco) and, after affixing the new rank, punch the Soldier square in the chest, atop the rank. I believe this dates back to the concept of “blood wings” where a pin with no backings would be smashed into a Soldiers chest upon his completion of airborne school, resulting in bloody airborne wings. After a Soldier has been promoted, and thus punched once, the rest of the company will file through to shake his hand, punch his already-sore chest, or both.

We were still back at Campbell when we held an afternoon company formation to promote one of the young Soldiers from the UAV (unmanned aerial vehicle) platoon. As an officer, I was at the back of the handshake/punching line. Most of my Soldiers had already gone through the line and had returned to the formation. As I stepped up to shake the Private’s hand, the Sergeant in front of me slammed him in the chest, leaving him unable to speak and doubled over in pain. While I didn’t realize it at the time, my proximity led my Soldiers to believe that I had hit the Private. As I stepped away, they cheered. In the day - no days – that followed, I have tried to convince my Soldiers that I was not the cause of what was certainly a severely bruised sternum, but perceptions can be reality and my Soldiers still claim that I hit the Private.

Upon his arrival in Afghanistan, several weeks after mine, one of my Soldiers told me that they had devised a new nickname for me in my absence: Iron Mike Merkel. I’ve given up on proving my innocence and embraced the new me. I’m also having a lot of fun with my Soldier who is up for promotion next!